You two have been dating for a while, and things are starting to get pretty serious. You’re also spending most nights together, and you have a number of belongings that you keep at the other’s places. You daydream about spending more time together in a shared space that you both can call home.
Does this sound familiar? If so, it might be time to think about moving in together. This is a big step in any relationship, even if you’ve already been dating for years. While there’s much to look forward to, there are also some challenges that come up when you start cohabitating. If you’re ready to take that next step, make sure to go over these questions to ask your boyfriend or girlfriend before you move in together.
Are We Ready to Compromise?
Moving in with a girlfriend or boyfriend means that you’ll have to start sharing your space. Even if you’ve had a roommate before, you likely at least had your own bedroom that was yours and yours alone. When you cohabitate with a partner, that level of privacy fades away. Suddenly, every corner of your space is shared, which means that you’ll have to compromise when it comes to your home.
Hopefully, you two have similar living styles. However, it’s unlikely that you’ll see eye to eye on everything. You may have to split up chores, but if you like things cleaner than he does, you may have to accept that you’ll be doing more vacuuming and mopping. If you love lots of bright decorations and she wants everything neutral and minimalist, you’ll have to seek out middle ground. Decide if you’re ready to sacrifice a few of the pleasures of living alone in order to share a space with your sweetie.
Where Will We Live?
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Speaking of sacrifices, one or both of you will have to relocate when moving in with a boyfriend or girlfriend. This can be a tricky situation if you both really love where you live and hope to stay put. If you are dating long-distance, this is a serious discussion you’ll need to have that will include lots of pros and cons. Things like having to relocate across the country or find a new job will be major factors you need to consider.
If you live closer to your significant other, decide whether you want to move into a home one of you already lives in or if you’d prefer to get a new place together. For many couples, it can be a lot easier to start fresh in a new home or apartment. That way, neither of you will experience the feeling that the home is someone else’s “territory.”
How Will We Divvy Up Payments?
Don’t discount the rent or mortgage factor when deciding where to live; you’ll want to pick something that makes financial sense for both of you, and you’ll also have to decide how to split household costs. This is something that you absolutely must talk about before moving in together since financial troubles are known to be a leading cause of breakups.
Couples usually split household payments one of two ways. You can either go 50/50 on everything or split payments according to your income disparity. For example, if you make $50,000 a year and your boyfriend makes $25,000 a year, you could pay twice what he does for things like rent, utilities, groceries and other household needs. Agree on which of these systems will work best for you before you move in together.
What Will We Do With Our Stuff?
One of the more practical questions to ask before moving in with your significant other is how you’ll combine your belongings. Many people in a relationship already have all their own furniture, dishes, decorations, bedding, etc. When you move in together, you’ll need to eliminate some extras.
If you’re not ready to part with your things, consider renting a storage unit where you can keep things safe for the time being. This is a good idea if you and your boyfriend or girlfriend hope to eventually live in a bigger space where you can use some of that extra stuff. And though it’s no fun to think about, you’ll be very glad you kept your belongings if you and your partner should break up.
Why Are We Taking This Step?
What you want for your future is another important topic you need to cover before moving in together. What are your expectations for moving in together, and is there any kind of timeline you hope your relationship will follow? Getting on the same page about these types of goals is critical if you want moving in together to go smoothly.
There are many questions to ask your girlfriend or boyfriend before moving in, but these are the most important ones. If you’re excited for this next step, start a conversation with your significant other today.